Learned Niceness

Upon my diagnosis of pneumonia I had been assigned a few days of bed rest. I'm not exactly sure what bed rest means but for me what it meant was watching bad TV, no not just bad TV but lots and lots and lots of bad TV. The TV watching has been a look into myself a decade ago and the kinds of shows I loved. Apparently in the middle of the day what plays is what played a decade ago when I myself was in high school, except when I watched it, this was prime time television, new episodes every week. I’m amazed to admit this much but my ex-husband, whom during my high school days was my boyfriend at the time, was right about one thing, these shows distorted my view of the world. I cannot believe not only that I worshiped these television shows, but I bought into the hype they were selling. Love, romance, relationships, the whole nine yards I had it figured out ten years ago, and if I could tell myself ten years ago what I know now, well, I would not have married my high school sweet heart, and I would have cared more about the present. Yes I know that I would have been someone different than I am today, I would have had less life experience perhaps, I would have been hurt fewer times and perhaps would not know what I know now but I think I would have been a nicer person and perhaps that would have been enough.