Learned Niceness

Upon my diagnosis of pneumonia I had been assigned a few days of bed rest. I'm not exactly sure what bed rest means but for me what it meant was watching bad TV, no not just bad TV but lots and lots and lots of bad TV. The TV watching has been a look into myself a decade ago and the kinds of shows I loved. Apparently in the middle of the day what plays is what played a decade ago when I myself was in high school, except when I watched it, this was prime time television, new episodes every week. I’m amazed to admit this much but my ex-husband, whom during my high school days was my boyfriend at the time, was right about one thing, these shows distorted my view of the world. I cannot believe not only that I worshiped these television shows, but I bought into the hype they were selling. Love, romance, relationships, the whole nine yards I had it figured out ten years ago, and if I could tell myself ten years ago what I know now, well, I would not have married my high school sweet heart, and I would have cared more about the present. Yes I know that I would have been someone different than I am today, I would have had less life experience perhaps, I would have been hurt fewer times and perhaps would not know what I know now but I think I would have been a nicer person and perhaps that would have been enough. 

Being Sick

I've never been so sick of being sick in my entire life. I actually uttered the phrase FML this morning as I called into work, again with a 103 degree fever and thoughts of being a Navy Captain at my heart. I have no idea what will bring an end to my suffering but hopefully it will be quick.

Student Teacher Week One

I think this last week has been the longest week of my life. Having a student teacher is more exhausting than I thought, and come Monday he will be teaching his first class first period. I'm petrified that its going to go badly, and petrified that its going to be a horrible start to his teaching time. I'm like a mom worrying about her child on their first day of school. Any suggestions on how to give positive feed back and comments would be greatly appreciated!

She is...

She is the sort of person who… fights for what she believes in even if it means the end of something that she holds dear

She is the sort of person who… knows that the benefit for the greater good will in the end bring her joy and happiness and is willing to sacrifice what she knows for what can be.

She is the sort of person who… loves with her entire heart. It is her biggest strength and her biggest weakness, making her incapable of seeing the bad in people and incapable of loving them les than with the entirety of her being.

She is the sort of person who… hides pieces of who she really is.

She is the sort of person who… strives to be something she is not naturally.

She is the sort of person who… uses her words like swords to cut through the egos of others in order to make them more real.