Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Break Ups Suck

Break ups, heart ache, the bad ending to any movie. We have all been there. We have all experienced it. I seem to have made a life out of understanding the stages of a break ups. I have sat by friends sides as they cried over a guy or a girl, I have been the crier putting on the brave face in the morning everyday to get through to the end of the day (my divorce was made up of most of these days). Somehow or another, it does get easier. Unfortunately I have seen too much of this lately.

Teaching high school you get to see kids go through their first heartache, losing their first "love" and to that end I have compiled a list of stages of break ups. My favorite part, of any of this, is that you can go from one stage, to another, back again. But finally, when you least expect it, you realize that its all going to be okay. I hope that no one takes offense at this list, and maybe it will even help you.

Stage One: Right before the break up, when things start to fall apart, you feel like the world is against you and you need to fight for what you have. You are still in love and everything IS going to be okay. My hope is that this is the truth. The reality is, that this just isn't always the case. If it was, more people would get married than break up. 

Stage Two: You don't want to hear it. This might be before the break up, it might be during the break up, but you want to stay in your state of denial.

Stage Three: I can't believe they left, I want them back. Its all my fault. At this point you would do anything to just make it all go away, you would forgive any wrong doings just to make it all better and set your life back on the path it was before you lost them, this person you felt was an anchor for you.

Stage Four: You start to enter anger, and realize who they really are.

Stage Five: You get REALLY angry, and can't wait for karma to take its own patient revenge. Some people skip this stage, circumstances seem to matter the most for this stage.

Stage Six: You finally get a moment to show them that you are stronger without them This comes at a grocery store you don't usually shop at, or a mall you went to without thinking twice. However when it happens, when you get the moment to be strong, I hope that you take it, with shoulders squared and and a smile on your face.

Stage Seven: You finally feel okay again without them. You even remember why you like yourself a little bit more without them, and you begin to have fun again.

Stage Eight: The stage you don't always get to know about. The point where the person who has left you realizes that they have made a huge mistake, and have lost you. Unfortunately this stage comes far too late. 


  1. I like the combo of the music with your analysis. I suppose the last stage might be wishful thinking... but hey, whatever gets people through, right?

    1. You would be surprised actually how often it takes place, but you are correctof course that it can be wishful thinking. The other thing to note is I have rarely seen it happen before the other stages have taken place.